"I'm A Father"

The first 3 months of new motherhood were insanely rough. Not getting sleep, not being able to get away and especially not feeling like I had a partner to help me through all of the newness. My husband froze after Addie was born. That first night freaked him out. I believe he even questioned if he should have had a kid. Then he shut down. I mean he helped change her diapers when asked and would do things if I needed but that was really it. He was not eager to hold her, talk with her or just really interact. It crushed me and caused a lot of problems for us. I mean it really sucked to be the only one holding her while she cried.

Things started getting better around 3 months but still they weren't wonderful. Then 5 months hit and things really started to change. Now at 6.5 months it is like night and day. This morning I listened on the monitor as he entered her room while she was still sleeping and did something that roused her for a second. I later found out he had rubbed her back and then kissed her cheek before heading out to work. Last night he made the random comment that he wants to take her with him when he goes places (work related and other). He has always loved her but each day that love is growing and he is showing it more and more. My heart is melting and a huge part of me is screaming for joy over the fact that it has changed. Once she became more lively and mobile and her personality has started to come out he completely melted.

It has been a long hard road to this point and I am so glad to finally have reached it. Whether or not we will have another child is up in the air. I am not sure I can wait 5 months to reach this point again with another child. To hear him say "I'm a father now, isn't that weird" is so nice though. I love them both to bits and can't wait to watch as their relationship continues to grow.