Nostalgia

A couple nights ago I was going through all the instant Netflix we could watch and came across two movies that I loved as a child. Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken and A League of Their Own. I absolutely loved these movies when I was younger and it has been years, I mean years, since I saw them last. So Tuesday night I watched Wild Hearts, and Wednesday was A League. Wild Hearts was made in 1991, and A League in 1992. When I saw the years I was a bit shocked because well, that places me at age 8 & 9 when I saw them. I didn't think I was that young when I saw them and fell in love because I thought I was older, I felt older.

Now before I continue to explain what happened next in my mind let me first explain something about me. I love my birthdays. I do not dread them, I cherish them. I have never had a problem getting a year older. There has been no anxiety for me about the impending big 3 - 0. To me life is something that happens so why dread aging, you can't change it. Just enjoy the years that come is what I have always felt. So now then, back to these movies.

They are almost 20 years old. . . the one guy from Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken (and sixteen candles fame) was 31 when he made that movie. This cute attractive guy I am sure I crushed on way back then. . . is now over 50. This smacked me hard in the face because. . .um. . I am getting older too. Those movies did not feel that long ago but they were 20 years ago and in 20 years from now I will be 47. Movies I love now. Movies that I get my daughter into now, will in 20 years be much loved and thought of but I will be 50. I don't get why this has made me feel so weird. Like I stated I don't mind birthdays, I don't mind aging. Maybe it is the realization that I was a kid not too long ago, but that I am also getting further and further away from all those memories. I don't want to get away from those memories and feelings. I have such trouble remembering a lot from my childhood unless something triggers it. I loved my childhood though and my parents. I am just afraid to loose that. . . and my parents. We are all getting older and while i am okay with me getting older I don't want others to get older and i don't want to loose my childhood.

Nostalgia can be a bitch.